Finding You: The Right Kind of Selfish


A lot of my posts, both recent and long past, seem to be a bit redundant, but I am passionate about many things in life, and one of those is being yourself and valuing yourself. There are many, many points that have been on my mind about this the last 24 hours, so here are three that kind of sum it up:

1. Valuing yourself ≠ Selfish

I believe it is important to make this distinction right off the bat. There is a hug difference between being narcissistic and self-absorbed and valuing yourself and all your qualities, both good and bad. As long as you use your knowledge of yourself for confidence and sharing yourself with others, then you are by no means in the wrong. If you start thinking you deserve better things than other people because of who you are or the things you have accomplished, well then you are the wrong kind of selfish. But go ahead, appreciate yourself because there’s not always going to be someone else to do the job.

2. Never, ever, ever change. Ever.

Did you catch that? Don’t change, for anyone. Granted, if you have an addiction or serious issues that harm others, by all means get help and change. However, there is person inside of you who, if you find them, won’t have to change for anyone. That is the real you, the one who attracts the people you want in your life, the one who finds the perfect significant other without trying, the one who will bring you happiness and contention with your life. Find that person, become that person, and then don’t change for anyone.

3. Stay strong.

These two things combined get really overwhelming. You’ll falter, if not fail at first. It’s okay, we all fail on the daily. But I can promise you that those moments of success at self-fulfillment will be enough to remind you to try again. One of the reasons I am writing all this is because I just came out of the swamp and into the sunny clearing, this time better than ever. After my last post, For All the Lonely People, I realized that I really, really needed to take my own advice. By the time I was falling asleep last night, I was making myself honestly step back and evaluate myself… and I realized that I did not give myself enough credit. I fell asleep thinking about how there is no reason for me to not have self-confidence. I made sure, of course, to clarify with myself point #1, and then I made sure I was fulfilling point #2, and I was left here, at point #3. It’s funny, too, how ever since this transformation occurred, I have receive more compliments than an average day. Maybe it’s just luck, but I personally believe in a Mighty God and I think He’s just trying to make sure I don’t relapse, that He thinks I’m doing something right. I could be wrong, but for right now it seems like a pretty good explanation.

I really want every person who might happen to read this to take a moment to realize your own talents, intellect, passions, and beauty, and how all of these things make you an amazing being unlike anyone else. Consider how all of these gifts of yours can be used to benefit those around you as opposed to staying inside where they feel safest. Then, I want you to honestly and completely embody your own persona, your true self. Maybe you’ll notice a difference, maybe you won’t. But you never know until you try…