Pre, Present, and Post Valentine’s Day Stress Disorder (PVDSD)

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Pre V-Day I was stressing pretty hardcore. I have never really had a good Valentine’s Day, and I was surprised to actually have a fantastic guy to spend it with this year. We aren’t in an official relationship, but we’re exclusive, so I had no clue what would happen. I don’t think he knew how to prepare at first, either. I didn’t know what to wear, what to expect, or even how to act. Honestly, I don’t know anyone who isn’t nervous about February 14th. I mean, it gets all the hype and there are too many unsaid expectations. Especially for the men… sorry fellas.

Lucky for me, my lovely man managed to find the perfect agenda for our relaxed relationship. Nice lunch instead of dinner, and the rest of the day just spent together. Flowers and chocolate, but no other gifts. It started out filled with a little bit anxiety and jitters, and not everything went quite as planned, but in the end I think most people realize this as well: all that matters is that you’re with the person you care about. All the nerves for nothing, right?

Now today we woke up, went to church, had lunch, the usual. But the post-V-Day effects were there. Still a little sappier than usual with the hand holding and pecks on the cheek. Not to mention, church was significantly emptier than usual. We’re apart now, which is good because I think it will help us transition out of the V-Day image. But it’s leaving me feeling a bit odd, but I don’t know what it is or why. Let’s just say it’s PVDSD.

The Collegiate Diary #2: Friendly Acquaintances

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The funny thing about going to college is that you get all of these preconceived ideas of what’s going to happen when you get there. You expect to meet all these people, including cute guys (and girls), join clubs, go to the gym, eat tasty food, get all your studying done, go to parties, wake up early… there’s so many standards that you set for yourself beforehand that you expect to accomplish them all right away. It’s only day 3 of class, day 5 on campus, and I feel like I should have done everything I expected to do. Yesterday I was already beating myself up for not having very many friends. I had like 4. So here I am, feeling crappy about my tendency to be timid and shy, not willing to just go out and meet people. I’m simply not that girl. Even if I forced myself to do that, I wouldn’t be that girl. And, on top of that, I’m from a state that is over 1,000 miles away so I knew no one before I came here. Over half of the school has at least someone they went to high school with or is related to or something. That really takes a blow at your self esteem, seeing people acting like best buddies on the first day. So anyway, here’s an inside look at the friends I have managed to make in 5 days on campus:

Tiesha: She’s my roommate, so we’re kind of forced to be really good friends. Luckily we get along well anyway.
Makayla: I met her at orientation, we’ve texted and passed by each other but never hung out since arriving at campus.
Laura: She dances with me and is super nice, but she’s that girl that I said I could never be even if I tried. So she has like 50 other friends lined up, too.
Christina: She dances with me and is giving me all of the information I need to know about the program I’m doing, and she’s super sweet but more like a mini mentor than a friend.
Corey: Okay, I’m not gonna complain about having him as a friend. We met the night after the first day of classes playing Cards Against Humanity (look it up, it’s so much fun). Anyway, yesterday he asked for my number, and we’ve talked and played games last night again. He tells me puns (my FAVORITE) and even used a chemistry pick-up line on me. So I guess I’m pretty stoked about that one.
Corey’s friends: They’re who I played Cards Against Humanity with. Not close with any of them, although supposedly one of them is in my history class.
The Random People I Have Had One Conversation With: So in other words, I don’t know any of their names and consequently they don’t really count.

So, here’s my closing word of advice:

As you can see, I’m no social butterfly, and I’m managing to maintain a meager amount of people to keep me company in this giant, unfamiliar world. But, if you’re more shy than me and find yourself in a new situation where you seem to be the “only one” without new friends, don’t sweat it! It’s just one of those mental expectations that you’ve made for yourself with an unrealistic deadline: day 1. So chill out! Push yourself to meet people, but if you go out trying befriend everyone in the room, they won’t really be the kind of friends you want. You’ll find people; relationships don’t form overnight (well, your roommate might be one exception). Just let yourself meet people naturally and you’ll find the people you want to spend time with.