The Collegiate Diary #3: Here Comes the Storm

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So up until yesterday, I had been coping impressively well with being over a thousand miles from home without friends or family.

Not so much anymore.

What caused the change?
A boy, of course.

It wasn’t his fault, really. He just tried to tell me how he felt but he made zero sense, and of course I didn’t ask for clarification. So then I got to thinking about how I actually felt, which led me to feel inspired about my life and how I’ll find someone and that I just need to let him know that I don’t want a relationship. But then I realized that I don’t have any other friends really, which I matched with a reminder that it has only been a little over a week, don’t sweat. But then, I talked to my parents over Skype and called my grandma and realized that I am, no doubt, homesick. This, of course, led to me needing comfort, which I found none because I have no friends.

So I have not made any more friends, by no one’s fault but my own because I straight up turned down two offers to join people for lunch; I have not even talked to this guy about how I feel so he just thinks I’m acting weird; I still feel lost and alone because, well, I am.

“It gets better, honey.”

Yeah, I know it does. But until then, I’m not sure you know how much it utterly sucks to be this alone and helpless. It may not sound like a big deal; I might sound like a big baby. But put yourself in my shoes, at age 18, without anyone to talk to on a campus of 26,000 other students who all have friends, and tell me it’s easy.

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2 thoughts on “The Collegiate Diary #3: Here Comes the Storm

  1. what you’re feeling is pretty natural and if i were you even i would feel the same, or for that matter anyone.ANYONE.
    But if you don’t wanna feel this way its all in your hands
    your not helpless. Go hangout with people, don’t say no and be open and optimistic.
    sometimes we need to push ourselves to do things we don’t feel like.That’s what i think you need to do right now, go hangout and say yes even if you don’t feel like. i hope you feel better! take care.

    • Thanks for the advice! That’s what I tried to do, and it seemed to help. But a good reminder for second semester since most people will be closer than at the beginning of the year. Thanks again!

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