So up until yesterday, I had been coping impressively well with being over a thousand miles from home without friends or family.
Not so much anymore.
What caused the change?
A boy, of course.
It wasn’t his fault, really. He just tried to tell me how he felt but he made zero sense, and of course I didn’t ask for clarification. So then I got to thinking about how I actually felt, which led me to feel inspired about my life and how I’ll find someone and that I just need to let him know that I don’t want a relationship. But then I realized that I don’t have any other friends really, which I matched with a reminder that it has only been a little over a week, don’t sweat. But then, I talked to my parents over Skype and called my grandma and realized that I am, no doubt, homesick. This, of course, led to me needing comfort, which I found none because I have no friends.
So I have not made any more friends, by no one’s fault but my own because I straight up turned down two offers to join people for lunch; I have not even talked to this guy about how I feel so he just thinks I’m acting weird; I still feel lost and alone because, well, I am.
“It gets better, honey.”
Yeah, I know it does. But until then, I’m not sure you know how much it utterly sucks to be this alone and helpless. It may not sound like a big deal; I might sound like a big baby. But put yourself in my shoes, at age 18, without anyone to talk to on a campus of 26,000 other students who all have friends, and tell me it’s easy.