Today, on the lovely Book of Face (that’s Facebook, if you didn’t catch that), someone posted this quote from who knows where:
“I am not afraid to die, but to think I haven’t lived. That terrifies me.”
I read this and realized that this is how I feel. I think we’ve all felt depressed and wondered how it would be to die. To some people, they seriously think it would be a relief. And honestly, maybe it would be. But to not have done some much! That’s what turns me around every time. I start thinking about all of my dreams, all of the things I’ve worked so hard for, and the things I’ve never done. I’ve only been in love once, for starters, and I almost regret that whole relationship. I’ve never slept under the stars, never tasted wine that isn’t served to the whole congregation, never been out of the country, never fulfilled my dreams, never watched my kids grow up faster than I can believe.
I have a strong faith, so I’m not really afraid to die. But yes, to not have lived scares me to death–no pun intended. Even now, at a young age, I’m beginning to find myself wondering if I’ve done all I could and what more I can do with my life each day. They say it’s the things you don’t do that you regret, and I don’t want to live a life full of regrets. And that’s really what living a full life is, isn’t it? No matter what you do, you don’t want to feel any tiny bit of regret of what you did or didn’t do; you want to be satisfied with every accomplishment and mistake.
This is where people usually make bucket lists, and I have recently added that it my “Need To Do Sometime” list.
The next time you’re feeling down, thinking about your death or maybe thinking, “Who would even miss me?”, try thinking about this:
Who or what would YOU miss if you were gone?
A Field of Pansies 